Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Strangest Things

I have had some weird experiences while driving buses at the 2010 Olympic Winter Games, in Vancouver, in Alaska, and as a school bus driver in Salt Lake City, UT. I have decided that it might mildly entertaining to post the top ten strangest things that have happened, with a brief description of the situations. These experiences have all occurred as a result of me having driven bus somewhere, although not all have occurred while driving. Some did not even occur while on a bus!

10. Moving
When I was first learning to drive commercial vehicles, I was being trained by Holland America Tours, which is part of the Holland America Line, a global cruise line. They own the Gray Line of Seattle, so most of the motor coaches we were training on came from there. A couple vehicles came all the way from Skagway, Alaska. The training I was in took place in Provo, Utah, which is about 1,000 miles from Seattle and quite a bit more from Skagway. The two motor coaches from Skagway were E4500 luxury coaches. They are advertised as "Explorer" coaches by Holland America, and they are designed to be extremely comfortable for long highway trips.

Tim and I were finishing up our studies for a semester about the same time as we were going through the training program. One of the requirements for the training program, after a commercial drivers' license was obtained, was to take a coach out with another driver and just go on a road trip, to get a little more time behind the wheel. It was very close to the end of the semester when we got to this part of the training, and we were beginning to think about moving out of our apartments for the summer.

Tim and I had a brilliant idea. We combined moving with this "dual driving" time. We picked up one of these Explorer motor coaches, with an enormous photograph of a breeching whale on the side, and we drove it to my apartment. There we double parked it on a street about as wide as it was, opened the baggage bays, and loaded my stuff into it. Due to the narrowness of the street and the size of surrounding vehicles, it looked very large. Now, it was big anyway (45 feet long), but in a tight street, it appeared to be even larger than normal.

Once all of my stuff was loaded into the luggage bays, we headed over to Tim's apartment. Again, we parked the bus and loaded his stuff into the baggage bays. At his place, we were able to find a spot on the curb big enough to get the motor coach into, so we did not need to double park. Between the two of us, we were not able to fill a luggage bay. There is quite a lot of space under the floor of those vehicles. Once all of Tim's stuff was aboard, we headed out to his sister's house. She had an unfinished basement and allowed us to put our stuff in a corner for the summer.

Tim had warned his sister that we would be coming to store our stuff, so she was expecting us. Well, she was expecting us in a much smaller vehicle. We pulled the bus into her neighborhood, and we could see her outside doing some yard work. We passed by the front of the house and pulled onto the street alongside her house, where we stopped and parked the bus. As we passed, we could see her staring at this bus, which looked completely out of place in a residential neighborhood. Not only that, but we were in Utah, with a large picture of a whale on the side of the bus, which only made it look more out of place! She was still staring bewildered at the bus when we stopped, and we nonchalantly hopped off the bus to say hello. When she saw us appear out of the open door, she just started laughing, and said she should have known it would be us.

We stored our stuff and visited for a few minutes before heading out again. Once we were underway, we determined that moving all our stuff by motor coach had been the most efficient and cheapest way to move out of our apartments. We also concluded that it would be highly unlikely for us to have such an efficient move again in the fall, when we returned from Alaska.

9. Sarah Palin
In Alaska, nearly every person who boarded my bus would either make a comment about or ask about Sarah Palin. For some reason, everyone wanted to see her. If we drove through Wasilla, someone would inevitably ask if we could stop in and visit her. It was a bit of an obsession really! There were three occasions when we actually did see her. Two times were simply driving by, and she was at a park speaking. One time was a little different.

I was boarding at the airport, in Anchorage. One of the Guest Service Hosts there was escorting a group of people out to my coach. As they walked from the terminal to the motor coach, a black limousine pulled up at the drop off curb. A couple people got out of the limo, including Sarah Palin. Apparently a few people in the crowd noticed her, and diverted from walking to the bus. Eventually the majority of the group had crowded around her. Only one passenger came to the bus with the Guest Service Host. As that passenger boarded, I stowed her luggage and just made a comment about Sarah Palin being there. I asked her if she had wanted to meet Sarah Palin, to which she enthusiastically responded, "Hell no, I'm a democrat!"

8. Wild Wildlife
The call it wildlife for a reason! Driving in Alaska presented many opportunities to see some wildlife. Most sightings were pretty normal, such as a moose out in a swamp grazing on some brush. What follows are some of the more wild sightings of wildlife in Alaska.

Just the other week, I was heading into Whittier, and I came across a moose and her calf. She saw the coach coming, and began to walk away from the road. The calf looked up, and saw mom walking farther away, and jumped, and tried to run after her. The calf was very young, and its legs just collapsed under it as it tried to run. I watched the moose calf fall flat on its face as I drove by!

One day I was heading into the international airport, in Anchorage. As I drove past the parking lot, I had my most unusual wildlife sighting. I saw an animal walking across the road in front of me, from the parking lot. As I got closer, I realized this animal was a black bear meandering across the road. I guess commercial parking just wasn't where he wanted to be!

Recently, while driving on the Denali Highway, we came across a Willow Ptarmigan, which happens to be the Alaska state bird. Having never seen one before, I slowed the coach down a bit to get a look. Just as we got to the ptarmigan, it took off and began flying. This ptarmigan must have loved the attention, because a race began. The bird began flying next to the coach, in the same direction, right at the height of the windows. A better photo could not have been staged! As we drove, the ptarmigan would land, and immediately take off again, once again, flying alongside the coach. This continued several more times. We were only moving about 25mph, but this ptarmigan flew alongside us for over a mile! Just when we thought we would leave it behind, it would take off again and fly just a bit farther.

One a visit to the Mount McKinley Princess Lodge, we spotted a grizzly bear and her two cubs in the lodge road. We stopped to get a look, but the bears ran off into the woods, away from the coach. We watched as they all ran to hide behind the same tree. We waited a moment to see if they would reappear. They remained hidden for a minute or so, but then curiosity got the better of the cubs. After a minutes, we saw two furry brown hears peek out from either side of the tree. They just looked at us, and all we could see was their little brown heads. Eventually, curiosity got the better of mom too, and we had three brown heads looking around the tree at us. They never came out farther than that, but the did want to see what was going on.

7. Unreasonably Dissatisfied
One of the risks to running any sort of transportation business is the risk of an accident, even as careful as those in the business may be. This was the case for the Alaska Railroad on one evening in August 2009. Both Holland America and Princess Tours had chartered the train to pull some of their private cars behind the train. Everything was going well as the train headed south to Anchorage. It was running right on time. In Anchorage, just a couple hours before the train was due, a call was received from the railroad indicating that there had been an accident involving the train, and it would be heavily delayed getting into Anchorage. A plan was formulated very quickly to get the passengers on the train into town by another means of transportation.

The train had been heading south through Willow, AK, at the track speed, which is 60 mph. As it approached the Willow Station Road crossing, a car pulled up at the gates and stopped. Just as the train got to the crossing, that car lurched forward and onto the tracks, making a collision inevitable and unpreventable. The train ran into the side of the car at speed, killing the driver of the vehicle. The driver was the only person in the vehicle, and was a 66-year woman from Talkeetna, AK. She had just been learning to drive a manual transmission, and had accidentally taken her foot off the clutch at the crossing, while the car was still in gear, causing it to lurch into the path of the train.

That day the train was operating with 19 cars and 755 passengers. Some of those passengers were travelling with the Alaska Railroad, while others were travelling with Holland America Tours or Princess Tours, aboard the private cars on the end of the train. In any case, the entire train was stopped indefinitely while all the reports were completed and car parts were extracted from under the train. The train was still a couple hours from Anchorage, so even if it got away from the accident scene at a reasonable hour, it still had to travel for a couple more hours before everyone would be able to get to their hotels in Anchorage. The alternative was for several coaches to be sent to Willow to meet the train and take the train passengers off the train and drive them to Anchorage. That is what was decided, and the Alaska Railroad asked us to send enough coaches for all the passengers on the train, even those that were not travelling with either Holland America or Princess.

Coaches were sent to Willow, and people were taken off the train. It was a rather tricky operation, seeing as people were disembarking the train along the railroad right of way, and not at a station. Overall, it went fairly smoothly, and the amazing part of the situation is that no luggage was lost. However, there were some people who were quite annoyed by the situation. I was loading my coach, which had some Holland America passengers and some Alaska Railroad passengers. Some of the people aboard my coach would go to the Hilton Hotel, and the rest would go to the Anchorage depot, where the railroad would pay for a cab for them to get wherever they were headed. Most people were tired and understanding. They generally were just happy to be moving in the right direction again.

Of course, there is always an exception. I had one woman, with her two children approach me and tell me she was with Holland America, but she was going to the Howard Johnson hotel in Anchorage. She asked if I was going there. I explained that I would drop her off at the train station, where the railroad would pay for her to take a cab there. Well, that was not good enough for her. She immediately started shouting and demanded that I take her to the Howard Johnsons. I calmly explained that it was not physically possible for a motor coach to get in that parking lot, and explained again that there would be a cab to take her there for free when we arrived in Anchorage. Well, that still was not good enough. She began shouting things I would not repeat to anyone. I closed the door to the coach so the other passengers would not have to listen to this. She went on and on, telling me how I was a terrible person and a lousy driver. She then started telling me how Holland America was a terrible company and she would never travel with them again. My personal favorite exclamation was, quite loudly, "I cannot believe Holland America would let the train hit a poor woman in her car! I just cannot believe they would do something like that!"

This woman sure was fired up, and she continued to get louder. I couldn't possible say anything, because she had an endless supply of oxygen, and she just kept going! She got so loud that I began to wonder if closing the door had really been effective. Eventually, one of my supervisors overheard this woman over two locomotives and 17 idling motor coaches, and he decided to see what was going on. She took a breath when he arrived, which gave me a second to explain very quickly to him what was going on and why this woman was dissatisfied. As soon as she had air again, the tirade started right where it had left off. I watched as my supervisor's eyes grew larger listening to this woman. Most of what she said is not repeatable in about any company. She kept repeating how much she was appalled at the Holland America Line, for letting the train hit the vehicle. Finally, when she went for more air, both Jason and I interrupted her, and miraculously, she let us talk. We explained the situation again, and encouraged her to board the coach. I suppose she was out of alternative ideas, because she made one more rather nasty comment, and then turned around to board the coach. Once she was on board, I did not hear another word from her. The silence going back to Anchorage was almost deafening!

6. Speaking Before Thinking
The front seats on either side of a motor coach are typically reserved for people who are disabled and find it difficult to walk down the narrow aisle, to a seat farther back on the bus. In Alaska, we had little signs we would put on the front seats to reserve them for a passenger who might need them. We did not have specific qualifications for sitting there, but generally people were respectful of those with disabilities and left them empty if they were able to sit somewhere else. On some days, I would board the coach after helping all the passengers up the stairs, and I would find the front seats to be empty. If that was the case, I would remove the signs and invite anyone who wanted to move up front. If no one moved up front, I let everyone know they were welcome to run to the front to take pictures during the drive.

On other occasions, I would board the bus and find those seats occupied, either in part or entirely. Sometimes the people sitting there would have a very obvious physical disability. On other trips however, the people using the front seats were very overweight.

One day, I was picking people up at the airport in Anchorage, and I was destined for Whittier, Alaska, where there was a cruise ship in port. My passengers were getting on the ship. As usual, I reserved those front seats for anyone with disabilities, and then began to load the coach. Towards the end of the boarding process, I have a very heavy woman board. When she was about halfway up the stairs, she asked if I could have someone in one of the front seats move, so she could sit there. Very occasionally, there would be someone sitting there who could move, and the would almost always give up their seat for someone who needed it. I hopped on the coach for a moment to address the situation.

I looked at the people who occupied the front seats, and the woman asking for one of the front seats. In the front row on the left side, I had a gentleman who had one of his legs missing below the knee. His wife sat with him. On the right side I had a woman who had a cast around one of her legs, which did not permit her to bend that leg, and her husband. We did not separate travelling partners usually, unless there was no alternative. The woman on the steps was not disabled, although she was very overweight. Both travelling partners who were not disabled offered to give up their seats for this woman.

I politely explained to this woman that I could not ask these people to give up their seats for her, as they were physically disabled and really had a difficult time moving around. She sighed and mumbled something about being inconsiderate. She was not happy, but she really did not have much to argue with, so she walked back. Someone in the second or third row was polite enough to let her take their seat. As she walked by, the man who was missing his leg muttered, rather loudly, "You wouldn't have a problem if you lost 300 pounds!" I almost laughed out loud. She just glared at him, and his wife elbowed him in the ribs and glared at him too.

5. Carnivores
On one occasion, while shuttling people from the airport, in Anchorage, to one of the cruise ships, either in Whittier or Seward, I was giving my tour, as usual. Things were going well, and people were asking intelligent and interesting questions, which I love, because it really helps me tailor the tour to the group. That makes everyone feel like I am interested in them, which adds up to more tips for me at the end of the trip. The trip was going quite well, which is why I was not surprised to hear from behind me, "James, I have a question."

"Sure, go ahead," I replied.

"Do people in Alaska eat more chicken or beef?"

That question did surprise me. I told them I had no idea, and I still have no idea! I like beef!

4. Alyeska Gone Wrong
When we operate a Portage Glacier Tour in Anchorage, it includes a stop at the Alyseka Resort, in Girdwood, AK. This is on the way to Portage, where the glacier cruise is located. This is just a day tour. The Alyeska Resort is our lunch stop. It is a first class resort with several dining options. One of the features of the resort is the only five star hotel in the state of Alaska. There is a tram that operates up about 2,700 feet of the mountain, and there are a couple more dining options at the tram station at the top.

When I give the tour, I explain some of the dining options at the resort, and I usually encourage people to pay for the tram ride up the mountain, because of the view. They can eat lunch and look out the windows at a spectacular view of Glacier Valley and Turnagain Arm. It is quite breathtaking on a good day. On this particular trip, I did just as I had before, and the people I had on the tour were quite excited to use the tram and get some lunch.

When we arrived at the Alyeska Resort, I disembarked everyone at the tram station at the base of the mountain, and they made their way to the ticket office. I was going to park the coach, and then join them on the top. I also wanted to eat. Just as I was boarding the coach to move it to parking, one of my passengers came along and said the ticket window was closed. I was puzzled, so I went to check, and sure enough, every ticket window had a closed sign in it. So I ran over to the tram station, and there were closed signs in the doors, and everything was closed. I did see someone mopping in the station though, so I pushed on one of the doors and it opened. I asked what was going on with the tram, and he explained it was closed for the day for its annual maintenance. Figures I would show up on that day! I passed this news on to my guests and apologized. They found a restaurant to eat in at the base of the mountain. The only way up was on foot.

I returned to the motor coach and moved it to the parking area, and then headed up to the hotel to grab something to eat for myself. I got to the hotel, and I went in the front entrance, and then I was just starting up the stairs to go to one of the restaurants, when there was a loud beeping throughout the hotel. I was momentarily confused, because I knew they did not make public announcements. Then I realized all the fire alarm lights were blinking, so I turned around and walked out the front door again. Apparently this would be the trip where everything exactly against the plans! I walked around the building to try to locate my guests. They were around back laughing at the situation. The alarm continued to sound for several more minutes. It eventually was silenced, and then the manager made an announcement indicating that there was no emergency requiring evacuation and he apologized for the inconvenience.

After the announcement, I headed back inside and then got myself something to eat at one of the cafes inside. When I arrived at the cashier, the beeping began again. I finished paying, took my food, and headed back outside to find my guests again and make sure they were all safe. Again, I found them all outside behind the building, laughing at the situation. After that, I decided to head back to my coach in the parking area, where it would be a little quieter. Fortunately, that was the last time the fire alarm went off.

3. The Whales
In Alaska, when you drive south from Anchorage, you follow a body of water, called Turnagain Arm, for about an hour. This is salt water, and there is occasionally some ocean wildlife out there. On the other side of the road is the Chugach Mountain range. The highway is squeezed between the two. I drove along the Turnagain Arm nearly every day of the week, and on some days I would drive that road several times. We had to use that road for access to all the ships that came to that area. When I had passengers, I would always narrate the trip, in either direction. I would encourage my guests to ask questions, because it would help me cater the narration specifically to that group.

With one particular group, we were traveling along Turnagain Arm, and I was talking about the whales we would sometimes see out in the inlet. As I finished talking about the whales, I heard from the back, "Excuse me, driver, I have a question. Which side of the bus will the whales be on?"

2. Manhattan Mall
I have never driven a bus in New York, or anywhere close for that matter. However, I had quite a strange event occur at the Manhattan Mall in December 2009. It had actually been some time since I had sat behind the wheel of a bus at that time. For anyone who has not been to New York around Christmas, it is very busy. New York is always busy, but it is even more crowded for all the holiday festivities, especially in shopping centers, like the Manhattan Mall.

Let me side track for just a second to help illustrate the significance of this event. During the 2009 tour season in Alaska, I drove a total of 18,873 miles, and I carried 7,388 revenue passengers during the five months I was employed in Alaska. Since then I had also driven school bus in Salt Lake City. Needless to say, I had moved quite a few people during the summer.

A few days after Christmas 2009, I was walking through the Manhattan Mall, simply because it was warmer than walking outside, and I was stopped by a stranger. Normally I ignore strangers because they usually are asking for money. This was different however. There was a group of three, and one asked me if I was a driver. I was caught off guard, and a bit confused, and I must have looked the part, because he clarified without me saying anything. He restated the question, "Did you drive tour buses in Alaska?"

I said I had over the summer, and his face lit up a bit. He asked if I knew a town called Whitter, and I told him that I worked out of Anchorage, but I typically drove down to Whittier about six to eight times a week. When I told him that, his face really lit up. He explained where all this was coming from. His wife had recognized me, and pointed me out to him, among the crowds at the mall. I had been their driver from Whittier to Anchorage, when they arrived here on one of the Princess ships. I was completely blown away, to say the very least. I am not sure if I was more surprised at running into people I had driven, half a world away, or if I was more surprised at the fact that they recognized me well enough to pick me out in a very large crowd!

1. The Accordion
On a trip from Whistler, BC, to Vancouver, about a two hour drive, I had a man in the third row get bored. Most people bring a book or puzzle to remedy this problem. This man started digging in his luggage for something to do about 25 minutes into the trip.

I was a bit surprised when he pulled out an accordion, and I was even more surprised when he remained standing in the aisle and began playing it. As he played, he also sang, in Spanish. This actually went on for about 45 minutes, and surprisingly, none of the other 20 people on the bus ever said anything. One person even slept through the whole thing. As this guy was putting away his accordion, I happily thought this was all over, and he would sit quietly like everyone else for the remainder of the trip. He did sit, although quiet was not exactly the operative word.

It turned out he also had a harmonica with him, which is more likely on a bus trip I suppose. He began playing that, and the person sitting next to him began singing, also in Spanish. Again, none of the other passengers said anything about it, and the guy in the front seat remained sound asleep. I wondered if he was still alive! Fortunately the harmonica only laster about 20 minutes. By that point we were getting close to Vancouver, and I was just hoping this person would not be on the shuttle back later in the afternoon, which I was also driving.

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